The Editing Floor
by Mizra
Summary: One-shots and story beginnings that never made it. I need some stretching room, so leave comments. Don't leave comments. I'm just putting these out there for my own entertainment.
1. Eye Of The Tiger

_Because I'm having a hard time getting through a particular point in a story, or had a random funny situation pop in my head, these are various one-shots. Stuff that would normally never see the light of day (or leave my hard drive) until now. Beware, they are typo-ridden, fluffed up and mostly OOC._

_Disclaimer: This disclaimer is srs bsns. If I really was Stephenie Meyer, would I be writing fanfiction on this website? I think not._

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**Edward, Emmett - Eye Of The Tiger**

_Rising up, back on the street, did my time, took my chances, with the distance now I'm back on feet, just a man and his will to survive..._

I groaned. Emmett and I were hunting this weekend. It was late summer of 1982, and Emmett was singing in his head.... again.

"Why do you insist in singing that song, Em?" I complained loudly. It was foolish and idiotic. It was the theme song for some boxing movie that had taken the US by storm. It was laughable that such a movie of a pauper-to-prince motif could be used over and over again.

"Unlike you, I enjoy a good movie, Eddie."

I seethed. "Dont. Call. Me. Eddie!" I yelled, effectively scaring off the buck I had been tracking. "Great, now look what you've done. You scared the buck away!" I turned away from him, sniffing the air for something else to satiate my thirst.

"Whatever, Edward. You know you really do like that song. Rocky is a great figure for masculinity."

Oh, he wasn't going to go there, was he?

With a smirk, Emmett looked my way. _'Course that's nothing you'd know about, little brother._

He did go there. He just _had_ to go there. "That's it!"

I lunged at him, knocking him off his perch on the boulder, crashing to the ground. We rough-housed a few minutes until we were both going nowhere. Emmett was still a little stronger than me, but I was faster. We were even in a fight. We got up, dusting the mud and bracken from our shirts and pants. We left a large dent in the earth where I pinned him.

"Ugh, Rose is going to kill me for this!"

I rolled my eyes. So much for a peaceful hunt.

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_Yep, that was it. Short drabble. And Emmett is so much fun to write. Gosh, I love him._


	2. Banned

_Because I'm having a hard time getting through a particular point in a story, or had a random funny situation pop in my head, these are various one-shots. Stuff that would normally never see the light of day (or leave my hard drive) until now. Beware, they are typo-ridden, fluffed up and mostly OOC._

_Disclaimer: This disclaimer is srs bsns. If I really was Stephenie Meyer, would I be writing fanfiction on this website? I think not._

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**Edward, Charlie - Banned**

I gently pried Bella's warm little fingers away from my shirt. I was still both in exhilartion and shock. Bella was alive and she had came for me. She saved me that day from making the worst mistake of my existence. In my defense, I had no idea she was even alive. How was I supposed to react to what Rosalie said about her?

_Ah, Rosalie. My... sister._ As old as I was, mentally, sibling rivalry didn't even cover the anger I felt toward her right now. But I promised Esme I'd cool off before speaking to her. Or letting Bella talk to her for that matter. The time in the car ride home didn't count. She was half-asleep.

I brushed a loose lock of hair from Bella's face and planted a soft, quick kiss on her forehead. My lips lingered, inhaling her beautiful scent. I pulled the afghan from the edge of her bed and drapped it over her, tucking her in. I would do everything in my power to make sure she was safe. And I would never leave her side.

That is, if she would have me back. If she had healed, as I had hoped she would.

I rankled when I heard a loud **harumph** behind me. Of course, Charlie was still downstairs. He was letting me know he was still downstairs, too. I turned to leave her bedroom, closing her door before making my way to the stairs. He stood below, watching the open hallway. He looked straight into my eyes before nodding. Although I couldn't make out exactly what he was thinking, I could understand that much body language. He had a few words for me.

I walked cautiously down, not entirely sure what he would say to me. I could only guess from the tenor of his mental voice. Anger was the predominant emotion.

He directed me to the couch, while reached around, removing the firearm from his belt, placing it squarely on the side table. He then sat in his chair, his eyes murderously furious.

"Before you say anything, I want to get something straight with you," he said, his voice gruff. I knew I was in for it. This was Bella's father and I knew he had every right to be angry with me, the boy who had left his daughter in pieces.

"You left my daughter months ago. You didn't call her, write her or do one damn thing to contact her. Now do you think you can just come running back into her life without paying the consequences, Edward?" Charlie played a scene in his mind of the opportunity of shooting me. Nothing fatal, of course. Just severely damaging.

As much as Charlie hurting me was laughable, I worked hard to hide that amusement. There were consequences that I had to deal with now that I was back here. Or at least, if Bella allowed me back. Charlie eyed me curiously, waiting for my response.

"No sir. I take full responsibility for my actions toward your daughter. I never meant any harm to her, ever. It was," I paused, trying to somewhat be truthful to Bella's father. "a misunderstanding. Entirely."

He rolled his eyes at me then. "Misunderstanding! How can leaving a girl in the woods alone ever be a misunderstanding? I thought I had your whole family pegged. You were such good kids, not a speck of trouble out of you."

I shifted in my seat, dipping my head in shame.

"Then you do this! Now, this may fly with other parents but will not damn well fly with me, boy. Do you hear me?" Charlie's glare pierced me. I deserved this. Every bit of it. I would take my verbal thrashing from Chief Swan and take it a like a man.

I nodded my head, acknowledging that I understood him.

Charlie's hands slid over the armrests of the chair. His left glided to the firearm, which I could see was still set on safety. He cleared his throat. He wasn't finished yet.

"Now I am grateful to your father for helping to bring my daughter back safe and sound, but I am banning you from this house. Do you understand me, son? Not one toe on this premise!"

I looked up at him in my guilt. He stared into my eyes and I could swear that he knew something. Could see something in me I hadn't seen before. A hole in my plan, as it were.

"And if I ever catch you with my daughter again, I will invoke my full authority as an officer of the law on you. And I won't hesitate to call your parents, good as they are to this town. You wouldn't want to embarass them like that."

I nodded again. Yes, a full verbal thrashing from Bella's father is exactly what I needed.

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_Did I mention how much I loved Billy Burke as Charlie in the movie? He fit Charlie to a 'T'. Seriously. More fanfiction needs Charlie in it._


	3. To The Cinema

_Because I'm having a hard time getting through a particular point in a story, or had a random funny situation pop in my head, these are various one-shots. Stuff that would normally never see the light of day (or leave my hard drive) until now. Beware, they are typo-ridden, fluffed up and mostly OOC._

_Disclaimer: This disclaimer is srs bsns. If I really was Stephenie Meyer, would I be writing fanfiction on this website? I think not._

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**Bella, Edward - To The Cinema**

"Bella, love, why is it that you want to see this movie?" he asked, for the hundredth time that evening.

"Because it has all the things I love in a movie, wrapped into one. Horror, romance, drama and action." I said it in a "as-a-matter-of-fact" voice, just so he would get the idea. He was never one for taking me to the theater. Especially in Port Angeles.

But tonight, for one night, I requested that we act like any normal couple would. He suggested we go to the movies. When I looked up what was playing in the Saturday paper, I gasped. The movie I had been waiting all year to see was in theaters this weekend. How could I pass it up?

The biggest problem was getting Edward to see it with me.

"But why _Twilight_?" he asked, his voice sounding almost pained, as he helped me into my coat.

"Because it's a romantic movie about a modernized Romeo and Juliet. Besides, he has the action sequences you might like in it."

He rolled his eyes then. "Yes, vampires, and none-too-realistic looking I might add, attacking a populace while the benevolent coven hides in the woods. Perfect for a romantic evening out."

I sighed. He didn't understand it. I drug him to the bookstore with me the night the final book came out. I practically shunned him the whole twenty-four hours I read the final book. And yet, he had no idea the fascination I had with this strange vampire love story.

I grabbed my purse, a nicer one I kept for nights such as these, and walked out the door. He opened his car door for me and soon we were off to the movies for a regular couple's evening out.

He parked the car and was swiftly at my door, helping me out. I rolled my eyes, but accepted the gesture. It made him happy, so I didn't say anything. He swung his arm around my waist and pulled me close as we walked to the ticket booth.

The clerk looked pleasantly surprised as she asked for what movie.

"Two adults for Twilight," Edward said, his voice smooth. I could still detect the irritation there, however.

"Um..." the clerk, stunned momentarily. "That will be... uh... $10.50."

Edward too out his wallet and paid the clerk, carefully pocketing the two tickets. "Shall we?" he motioned with his hand toward the door. I walked through, and stepped inside, his arm tight around my waist.

"Would you like a snack for the movie, love?" he asked, pointing toward the popcorn maker.

"Sure, one popcorn, please."

We stood at the counter while the clerk got my popcorn. When she handed it to me, it was a large, buttery mass. I rolled my eyes. Of course he thought I needed all of this. Like I could actually eat an entire large popcorn by myself. I had always shared mine with Renee when we went to the movies.

Edward and I strolled through the hallway, and when we found the right theater, we stepped inside. He found us some seats in the middle and I sat, getting comfortable. I suddenly had a thought. I was alone with Edward in a dark room, just like Biology. Granted, there were other couples and groups of girls here, but it was dark... and no one would see something. If something were to happen, that is.

Edward's cool arm brushed my shoulders and pulled me close against his chest. The credits began and I sighed contentedly. I was going to watch the movie I had waited all year for with the love of my life. What could be better than this?

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_Fangirl Bella is way better than anything I think I've ever written. I could see it now: Bella hunched over Breaking Dawn in her bedroom, shrieking, oohing and gasping at all the right moments... while Edward mopes around, waiting for her to return to the normal world. Like all boyfriends and husbands did during that first week of August. ^^_


	4. The Monster Within

_Because I'm having a hard time getting through a particular point in a story, or had a random funny situation pop in my head, these are various one-shots. Stuff that would normally never see the light of day (or leave my hard drive) until now. Beware, they are typo-ridden, fluffed up/angsty and mostly OOC._

_Disclaimer: This disclaimer is srs bsns. If I really was Stephenie Meyer, would I be writing fanfiction on this website? I think not._

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**Edward, Bella, MAJOR OOC - The Monster Within  
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That scent. That delicious, painful scent. I had never smelled anything as succulent, as sinfully good, as this frail, human girl's blood. There could not be anything violent enough in my mind to satisfy my need to lure her away from the school building, out of earshot. I would have combed the planet if I knew this scent existed. I wanted, no, _needed_, to drink from this human.

I knew that the bell would ring in minutes, so I quickly thought of a plan to lure her away. Surely, if I only killed her and not the other children, I wouldn't be such a monster?

I was wrong.

I turned the full force of my eyes on the human girl. Bella, was her name, I recalled. I would need that information.

"Bella?" I purred, making my voice as soft as velvet and as alluring as possible. "May I walk you to your next class?"

Her deep brown eyes locked on me, her heart beating erratically. I noted that her scent blossomed under the stress of the adrenaline pumping through her veins. So rich, so lovely, so... floral.

"Um, yeah. I guess," her voice like a melody that even Debussy himself couldn't conduct. No master could match it. This, in retrospect, added to her delicious scent.

We got up and I guided her down the hallway, toward the parking lot. My hand was at the small of her back, looking as if I was being gentlemanly towards her. I was no gentleman today. The monster would get its moment and I would be free of this wretchedly-beautiful scent.

Walking maybe a few more feet, I made mention I left my Spanish text in my car and if she would accompany me. Bella, this girl, nodded her head. _Too easy._

My car was at the fringe of the student parking lot, making easy access to the forest quick. The warning bell was going to ring in about 30 seconds. Just enough time for me to drain her and dispose of the body. All before gym.

I spun around, pretending to fish my keys from my pocket, and faced her fully. Her pulse raced furiously and I leaned in closer. Her breath was shallow, her chest heaving.

"Um... don't... you, uh... need..." she said, before I brushed my hand across her cheekbone. I was skilled at this; I had killed a woman before. Vile and deviant women, of course, but women nonetheless. I knew what made their pulse race, their breaths shallow; it was all sexual for them when I did certain things.

"Bella, I would like to show you something. Something I found rather interesting in Biology that I saw outside in the forest here. May I show you?"

She nodded her head like the good prey she was. Of course she would. She was in my trap.

I took her hand gently, careful to not scare the thing off before I could finish this. Before she could blink, I had her in my arms and racing into the forest, near the foothills of a local park. No one around for miles. I covered three miles in mere seconds.

A personal record, I chuckled to myself.

I looked down, seeing Bella's wide eyes. She was trembling. With fear, I would imagine. She shook and her eyes only grew wider and wider.

I sat down on nearby boulder, still cradling this delicious human female. I would take my time.

_But not hurt her. I could do that. I'm not a total monster. Not really._

I brushed her face with barely the force of a breeze. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head as her breath caught and her chest heaved emphatically. Slowly, I leaned in, smelling that mouth-watering aroma once, before placing my cold lips against her throat.

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_Ha! Thought I was going to have him stop, hmm? Nope, this Edward was a thirsty Edward. And when Eddie is thirsty, Eddie gets mighty pissed off when you take his meal away. ^^_

_Segolily - This was for you. You Mistress of Horror, you.  
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	5. Stench

**Potty-humor a la Emmett. Use the word: fart. Make it juvenile and hilarious.**

_Because I'm having a hard time getting through a particular point in a story, or had a random funny situation pop in my head, these are various one-shots. Stuff that would normally never see the light of day (or leave my hard drive) until now. Beware, they are typo-ridden, fluffed up/angsty and mostly OOC._

_Disclaimer: This disclaimer is srs bsns. If I really was Stephenie Meyer, would I be writing fanfiction on this website? I think not.

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It was sunny July afternoon. Bella and I had just settled down to watch a movie. I popped her some popcorn, according to the directions on the package. It smelled horrid, but she liked it. The package was labeled 'Butter Lover's'.

I grabbed the bowl when it was finished and headed to the den, Emmett snickering behind me.

"What, Em?" He was unusually quiet in his thoughts. It made me suspicious.

"It seems Bella has a problem, Brother." _A big, smelly problem_

I looked questioningly. It wasn't the wolves, was it? She hasn't even spoken to Jacob, as far as I know, since he left back in late June.

I shrugged it off and continued to the den. I smiled at Bella, while plopping myself next to her, handing the bowl over.

I flicked the remote and started the movie. We were about fifteen minutes into it when I saw Emmett wrinkling his nose in disgust.

"What is THAT godawful smell?"

Emmett was looking, questiongly, in my direction.  
_Dude, I know we can't fart, but man... that is rank._

I rolled my eyes. Amazing. He's ninety years old and still has the mindset of a 5-year-old.

Then, he turned to Bella. I glanced at her and her face was red as a beet. Then I smelled it, too. I held my breath.

Bella shrugged her shoulders. "Um, Charlie made chili for lunch."


End file.
